You have nicely summed up the feeling of people who belong to two or more states. My native state is Jharkhand - a village called Pathra (now called Narsinghpur), about 10 kms from Daltongunj in the Palamau district of Jharkhand. Since my father was in service at Patna, I had my schooling upto 12th there and was brought up at Patna: thus belonging to a tiny minority which is a native of Jharkhand but moved to Bihar for economic progress.
I personally feel I am a Bihari and a Jharkhandi. Near extinct Jharkhandi delicacies like dhoka, papri, tilwa etc are still made by my mother, aunts and wife. I still yearn for the boli of Palamau: renga or butru for a child, goe for a friend and didhi for standing still.
For my engineering education, I moved to Varanasi. Later had my management education back in Jharkhand at Jamshedpur. First ten years of my job was at Calcutta, followed by six years at Delhi, less than a year at Los Angeles and for the last four years at Mumbai. My children have been brought up at Calcutta, Delhi and now at Mumbai. What state do they belong to? Are we going to destroy this rich tapestry called India?
Your observation "While too much self-pride is destroying the Bengalees, an absolute lack of self-pride is the principal mental block for Bihar's development." is full of insight that can only come from one who is confident of his identity as both Bihari and Bengali.
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